After 19 exhausting hours of labor, I anticipated assistance — instead, I received a $9,000 hospital charge and a spouse who indifferently remarked, “Your bill, your issue.” Stunned and pained, I decided to teach him a lesson.
When I became a mother to my lovely daughter, I never imagined I would be close to divorcing my husband shortly thereafter.
Two weeks later, I was at our kitchen table, dressed in my nursing tank top and yesterday’s yoga pants, when the mail showed up.
Invoices, pamphlets, the standard culprits. Then, I noticed an envelope so thick it could choke a horse, with my name typed in that stern, official font that shouts “medical billing department.”
My hands trembled as I unsealed it.
$9347. That was the expense of introducing our daughter to life.
I entered the living room clutching that bill as if it were a grenade, anticipating my husband to join me in facing it.
“John,” I remarked. “The hospital’s bill arrived today, and it’s… well, we might have to draw straws to decide who’s going to sell a kidney to cover this.”
I extended the bill. He didn’t accept it, merely looked away from his phone display to check the information.
For a moment, his casual attitude gave me comfort, but then he uttered something so self-centered it left me stunned!
“Your bill, your issue,” he said, shifting his attention back to his phone. “They provided it to you, and it bears your name.”
Hold on. What?
Yet he was completely serious. “I didn’t enter the hospital. You performed. Therefore, it is your invoice.”
“For delivering OUR daughter, John! I wasn’t receiving a massage.”
John exhaled a weary sigh, placed his phone aside, and gazed at me.
“Well?” I purchase diapers, formula, and wipes. I purchased the crib, the stroller, her car seat, her clothes, and all the other baby gear… I’m not covering that expense, either.” He acknowledged the bill with a nod.
That’s when something broke deep within me.
I attempted to reason with him.
Truly, I did.
I highlighted all our mutual expenses in our common residence.
“I covered all the other expenses, and I’m still covering!” he retorted. “Come on, grow up and take care of YOUR expense.”
Perhaps that was ultimately the true essence of the issue: Money.
John makes slightly more than I do, yet we still divide all the bills equally. It consistently benefited us until I took my unpaid maternity leave.
In that moment, each dollar he spent became a reason for me to feel thankful.
I looked at that bill that was officially mine by law, mine by myself.
Okay. If John intended to be a jerk, then I would as well.
The following day, I set up a payment plan and began making those monthly payments. $156 each month for the honor of having brought his daughter into existence.
I messaged him regarding it, one final opportunity for him to act correctly.
I began gradually by subtly stepping back from all those minor wifely tasks I had been performing automatically.
I ceased doing his laundry and stopped ordering his monthly protein powder.
The bewilderment on his face was nearly laughable. Nearly.
He referred to me as trivial and claimed I was being manipulative.
But the worst part was when Sunday dinner arrived.
I invited my parents and his, and made meatloaf with mac and cheese — classic comfort food.
Then, while serving dessert, I accidentally dropped the bomb.
While everyone discussed children and parenting, I suddenly interjected with, “You wouldn’t believe the bill I received from the hospital!” Since John believes it’s not his issue, I will be making payments until Lila turns five.”
I promise, the room ceased to breathe.
My mother looked at me as if I had hit her. “You actually said that to her?”
He attempted to laugh. “It isn’t that way.” “She’s overreacting—”
His father-in-law fixed him with that retired-marine gaze that could break a man. “Son, you need to mature a bit.”
That evening, he perched on the side of our bed to discuss matters with me.
“I wasn’t aware of how it came across,” he stated. “I’ve been under a lot of stress at work, and finances have been strained with you on leave without pay.” I believed you would cope with it more effectively. “You’re typically more skilled at handling that.”
“I have my own stress, John,” I said coldly, “like waking up four times a night with sore nipples and still being treated like a leech in your own house.”
“However—”
“No, there are no ‘buts,’ John,” I interrupted him.
Then she uttered something that left me utterly speechless.
“We’re either in this together, or we’re not,” she stated. “If you’re not going to contribute to the bill, you should leave.” Relocate. “We’ll resolve the expenses in divorce court instead.”
The following morning, he settled the hospital bill for $4673.50.
Now I find myself facing him in therapy, as he works to discard the part of him that believed love was a record, rather than a support.